“It’s the end of 2017, Christmas eve similar to a beautiful pregnant woman” those were the words of the female priest in the morning of 24th Dec at my nearby Grundtvig church. She pictured the preparation for Christmas day similar to a pregnant woman, who prepares herself growing a little angel in her womb for nine months until birth. The vibe was exceptional; Me being pregnant in my 40th week, ready to pop out any minute , listening to her preaching in Danish and visualizing my angelic baby in my womb.
The priest succeeded in explaining Christmas and the preparation for it in a beautiful way , but looking back at my pregnancy it wasn’t that “pleasant” or “warm” filled with Christmas lights and hot chocolate with marshmallows.
It was actually divided into different stages of MOOD-SWINGS and I didn’t like that part of it .
Everyone describes pregnancy in such a delightful way , that you rarely find blogs and talks, where a woman is full heartedly sharing her emotional state. At some point I felt I am the only one who is not enjoying this ride. I was ashamed of sharing my thoughts, especially the fact that I really wished to be a mom but the pregnancy itself didn’t work for me and that was a real paradox of feelings. Tetrising around my head to find one clear calm line and move on .
The roller-coaster eventually stopped in the mid of the 2nd trimester, similar to what she described on Christmas eve. I got to enjoy my pregnancy to it maximum in it and 3rd trimester as well. Our baby gave me strength and creativity to the maximum and eventually I did give birth to a beautiful angel.
The world describes pregnancy with such easy and numerous attractive words but the reality is that a woman goes through a roller-coaster of emotions, and if you’re the type of a woman who is always in charge of her emotions then those mood swings and hormonal changes can hit you really hard.
Now since it was hard for me to control those unpredictable mood swings, as a photographer and someone who constantly loves to reflect, I documented those emotions throughout my first trimester.
Feel free to enjoy the thousands of lessons I learned while floating in my swings.